Balancing Plate: Pt 2

So i just wanted an opportunity to explain what  non-sense that goes on any given day in my head. This is not a complaining session, or me looking for pity. This is just me making an attempt to explain what being a single parent is like. I don't know if this is normal for everyone, but I know it's true for me. First of all, I have anxiety. I have started to realize this over the last few months. Sometimes it's about Keira. I feel like being the final (and only) say when it comes to Keira is difficult. When she is with me, and a decision needs to be made, it's mine to make. I don't have that other parent here to bounce that decision off of.  Although I am always confident, it doesn't mean making every decision is easy. All I want is for Keira to be okay. Balancing being a dad, my job, and attempting to have a social life is extremely difficult. I also have anxiety when it comes to dating. Let's face it. I was broken. I questioned every single day what I did wrong for months. I never came to a conclusion so I have a constant fear of rejection. A fear of doing whatever I did before which made me no longer desirable. As I stated before, I have a lot of confidence, but again, that doesn't mean it's not difficult. So it's all about balancing plates. I have to make sure Keira is 100% always. I never want her to see my insecurities. I have to give everything I have to her whenever she is with me and keep her at the forefront of my mind when she is not. While at work, my attention is turned and my main priority becomes just that. Always hoping the guys in charge see my dedication so when I need an exception because my daughter needs me, those same guys understand and don't hold it against me. And of course, my social life. It's difficult to make time for my family, my friends, and myself. Sometimes things go amazing and I feel like I am the king of the world. Keira is happy, things are great at work, and I have plenty of time for the other people in my life who are important to me. Other times, I feel so overwhelmed that I can barely stand it. The world feels like it's crashing down and it can feel incredibly lonely. For the single parents out there who find a way to kick ass at this, bravo. This is serious business. I don't think for a second it's not something I can't handle. Balancing plates is a real skill. I just have serious respect for the folks who have done it for years and kept it together. But I am completely on board. I will never quit and I WILL balance. Bring on the plates, and watch the show.

-Cam